Transcript of June 2024 Tutorial on Sexuality.
Today we’ll explore where sexuality comes from, what its inherent qualities are, and how, through misuse, it has been co-opted from its original purpose to serve a very different agenda.
We’ll begin as we often do, by clarifying our terms. Sexual comes from the Latin sexualis. It is a combination of the root word sex - has carried forward into modern language with the same spelling and meaning, and alis which is a suffix meaning relating to. In other words, anything relating to the notion or act of sex. Sexuality has a more nuanced definition, but generally it’s used to refer to how a person or creature experiences and expresses their sexual nature, and/or sexual activity.
The human being has maintained a fascination with sex and sexuality since we first walked the Earth. Although there have been certain civilisations and peoples who understood the role of sexuality in the wider scheme of life, for most of our human history, there has been a disproportionate focus on physical sexuality in the human experience. This has led to misunderstanding, misuse and abuse in our relationship with our sexuality.
To unpack why, let’s begin by asking what sexuality is. We see sexuality as a potent, creative life-force, which is part of the overall life-force of the Intelligence which gives rise to all existence. And when we say creative, we don’t just mean the act of procreation. The ability to procreate is the result of this sexual life-force, not the origin of it. That we so often have those two the other way around, is part of the persistent challenge that sexuality presents us with.
Purpose
As always, if we wish to understand the generative design encoded into any aspect of life, we need to look at its Purpose - because Purpose is where the original intentions for life are at their purest. If we look at the original purpose of sexuality, we find a picture that bears little resemblance to how we have understood and expressed it throughout history. Let’s go back to the beginning of humankind to understand our relationship to sexuality in a wider context. .
Before humankind appeared as a physical creature in a body of dense matter, we had a much more ethereal being, more energetic than material in nature. In that state, we reflected the intelligent design of existence with little or no influence from matter to interrupt the automatic expression of our true nature. Over time, our presence here took on more and more of the material substance from the Earth, and with it came what we will call ‘body consciousness’. This arose from the physical body developing a form of its own awareness and thus being able to signal its material needs through the mechanism of impulses, appetites, drives.
As we paid more attention to these signals, and acted upon them, we gradually came to see the physical body and its drives as the primary source of our aliveness, rather than as an extension of a more immaterial beingness. The result being where we find ourselves today, with a human population that is largely unaware or unclear as to its divine origin.
Part of that divine provision was to gift the human being (first in its ethereal form and later in its physical form) certain abilities which are inherent to the source intelligence itself. We have been given the power of that intelligence; the power to be conscious, the power to experience, the power to evolve, the power to love, and crucially the power to create, by using the substance of life - energy - in the form of light.
In our material form, we have the creative power to beget other physical bodies through the sexual act. This power is a direct gift from the creator. And like all our other powers, it is a mighty and potent gift. Used well, we get to taste the power of God. Used unwisely, it can be a destructive force. In our ethereal form, our creations are made with an awareness of where the power comes from. In our physical form, under the influence of forgetfulness, we get brief glimpses of the powers we have, but fail to identify the source they come from, or the purpose for which they were given.
Now if we come back to the idea of body consciousness, a latent awareness within the physical body itself, and we look at the pleasure bound up in the sexual act, we see that the sexual act, or even the promise of it, carries a unique power, in that it can connect us to all our origin-powers (in that it offers us the chance to be conscious, experience, evolve, love and create simultaneously).
So the urge to explore and express our sexual energy is not just a signal for procreation, but a compelling instinct to experience the power of our original bliss. This innocent desire has become tainted with a craving for the raw power it can connect us to. If we wish to utilise the power within our sexual energy to evolve, we need to learn how to work with this energy constructively. And that journey begins when we recognise the source of this power and the purpose for which it was intended.
When we look at how we collectively relate to our sexuality on Earth, the original purpose has been almost completely lost, and we find, for many, it has been reduced to a physical act for the purpose of temporary pleasure or begetting offspring. For some it is used to dominate whether that be domestically, in our culture and even as a weapon of war.
Potential Self - CONNECTION - to understand/regularly
Usual Self - POWER - to rule/regularly
Limited Self - SECURITY - to relate/regularly
Vision
Once we leave the Purpose indicator, and enter the Vision indicator, we often see the original intentions drop away precipitously because humankind cannot yet hold the divine plan through all the stages of manifestation. And of course, if we misunderstand the purpose of life in the first place, then our vision will always be consistent with that misunderstanding. This is particularly true of our relationship to sexuality.
We bring so much hope for connection and belonging into the arena of sexual experience. This is evident not only in the physical act, but also in the way we envision, and therefore think about, the whole notion of sexuality.
So here in the Vision indicator we see that the potential vision we collectively hold for our sexuality does not, at present, rise any higher than the connection level which is where it also sits for Purpose.
Potential Self - CONNECTION - belonging/regularly
However the Usual Self shows us how the vast majority of humankind envision sexuality. And for this it once again follows purpose and sits in the Power level, this time tapping into the promise of personal, not yet universal, power.
Usual Self - POWER - success/regularly
The Limited Self of course shows us the lagging edge of consciousness with regard to any aspect. And for Vision, we see that we collectively hold a pleasure-oriented view that is dependent on the physical act, without any regard to the higher purpose of that act, or the origin of the pleasure we seek. For that reason, we place it just into the Security level at Sufficiency.
Limited Self - SECURITY - sufficiency/occasionally
Values
Now we come to the Values indicator. Here we are exploring what value we place on sexuality, which gives us its relative importance in our lives. If we look at the options available to us in the Mission, Co-creation and Unity levels, we see the potential of the powers we spoke about earlier for aligning us to co-creation, unity, harmony and wisdom. And although there are certainly individuals on Earth who carry this knowledge and practise it in their human lives, we are not yet at a stage in our evolution where this is the prevailing paradigm. With regard to Values in particular, we see that our next stage of growth is to use our sexuality with integrity, and that this is the doorway to being able to access the trustworthiness and wisdom inherent in the gift of sexuality.
So for the time being, we place the Potential Self again in Connection.
Potential Self - CONNECTION - authenticity/occasionally
The Usual Self reveals the importance the majority of us place on sexuality. As the whole arena of sexuality is so bound up with the unconscious pursuit of power and the conscious pursuit of pleasure the Usual Self would sit between the two. However, in the mapping system, we have to choose one placement, so we’ve opted for the lower end of the Power level.
Usual Self - POWER - power/occasionally
The lagging edge of our relationship to sexuality still carries the subconscious hope that our sexuality will provide us with some kind of transferred power in the form of attention and recognition. So we’re placing that in the Security level. This is the level where all forms of addiction, sensual greed and gratification are expressed. The security we seek through sexual expression is short-lived at this level, leading to us becoming emotionally dependent on the notion of sexuality or the sexual act itself to bolster our sense of self.
Limited Self - SECURITY - security/regularly
Inspiration
Both the inspiration and motivation indicators seem to be self-evident when we assess the arena of sexual experience and expression in humans. However, if we only look at the surface manifestation, we can miss the deeper reasons why we think and behave as we do.
For the Potential Self in the Inspiration indicator, we see the continuation of the desire to access a sense of connection not just with our partners, but with life itself. So far so good. However, we also see in this column, that the notion that sexuality can lead to contribution, abundance and truth are not yet being collectively realised. So the Potential Self still sits in the Connection level.
Potential Self - CONNECTION - connection/regularly
Because the Inspiration indicator is showing us the higher influences upon our more tangible motivations, it could be argued that the Usual Self could also reside in the Connection level. And this is a close call. But we’ve chosen the Power level for the Usual Self, because of the hidden desire to equate the success of our sexual experiences with our worth. And because this level is where we see the subtle, and not so subtle, desire for individual power.
Usual Self - POWER - attainment/regularly
The Limited Self reveals what we’re inspired by when we’re in our most forgetful state. With regard to our collective relationship to sexuality, we can see how the advertising and music industries have long tried to inspire us with sexual imagery. A more recent addition to that effort would be social media. So we can see that the Limited Self sits squarely in the Security level at fulfilment.
Limited Self - SECURITY - fulfilment/regularly
Motivation
Following on from Inspiration, we come to Motivation. If our inspiration for our sexuality is a little veiled, here it is more explicit. However, for the Potential Self, it is less clear cut. In the upper levels of this column we see the possibility of growth, duty, love and wholeness. And we can say that these are very real potentials offered to us by exploring our sexual power. Many people would argue that love is the guiding motivation of their sexual encounters. But as we look at the present state of human understanding, experience and expression, we can see that the motivations we carry tend to be of an individual nature. We are not yet holding a universal motivation for our individual actions. So our Potential Self hasn’t yet risen above the Connection level for motivation. However the connection level, of growth, is where we encounter the early promise of the Co-creation level of love (as both of them are unstructured levels).
Potential Self - CONNECTION - growth/occasionally
The Usual Self sits in Power band still. Although the word superiority isn’t a direct fit for this topic, but the energy of motivation at the Power level is all about promise - the idea that we’ll get something out of it. And for our relationship with sexuality, this is about the motivation to experience and express power. Now as we repeat this association between sexuality and power, some of you may be thinking that this doesn’t apply to you, and that may well be so. You can think of it instead as the motivation to feel that all-encompassing aliveness that sexuality can awaken in us. And that is a compelling motivation for most people who open to their sexuality and partake in the physical act.
Usual Self - POWER - superiority/regularly
The Limited Self is in the Security level because the word and sentiment of this level of motivation is comfort. That so many people are confused by their sexual energy or unfulfilled by their sexual experiences shows us how fleeting our comfort from sex is. And this is because when we approach this area of our lives with misunderstanding, the inherent power it contains is channelled into our ego-identity with less than satisfactory results.
Mindset
In the journey of manifesting our paradigm (collectively), or expressing our inner landscape (individually), the Mindset indicator reveals the dominant thinking we carry within us. Influenced by our understanding or lack of it, and fuelled by our hidden desires, this thinking shapes how we perceive each area of our lives, and determines the experiences we have as a result. We have seen that we are largely unaware of the inherent gifts woven into our humanness, and have not yet been able to approach sexuality as a conduit to realise those gifts. This has left our mind without the elevating, aligning influence of its source intelligence. The result is that we tend to focus on sexuality from the perspective of the ego-identity, which is primarily concerned with its limited agenda.
This schism between our true nature and that of our ego-identity has left the door open for sexuality to be co-opted into distorted perceptions of gender, power games, and sadly, abuse in many forms. The preoccupation with the power inherent within the sexual gift has also led us to an over-sexualisation in some cultures, even including children in its orbit.
Sexual energy is such a potent force and has such a compulsive influence on physical sensation, that humankind has wrestled with both the expression and repression of that force. We can see very clearly that we have not yet learned how to handle this Divine power.
Until we are able to align our mindset with the responsibility, benevolence and intelligence of the upper levels, we will be unable to restore sexuality to its rightful place, as a beautiful gift to enhance every level of our being.
For the collective placement of the Potential Self, we are just about holding on to the Connection band. We see this in the many ways we seek to redress the current imbalance through rights in law, new perspectives in culture and initiatives that bring healing. Although our progress in the field of sexuality is slow, the green shoots are appearing and growing stronger.
Potential Self - CONNECTION - open/occasionally
The Usual Self remains in Power for all the reasons we just mentioned.
Usual Self - POWER - ambitious/constantly
And the Limited Self dips down into the Survival level due to the widespread occurrence of sexual abuse across our whole planet.
Limited Self - SURVIVAL - fearful/regularly
Feelings
In the Mindset, Feelings and Form indicators, we see the tangible challenges of this topic. We saw in the Mindset indicator, that our thinking around sexuality has been divorced from our higher nature resulting in power struggles. Now in the Feelings indicator, we see the emotional toll of that struggle. Our feeling life, with regard to sexuality, is complex. Emotions are resistant to control at the best of times. When we add the compelling power of sexual energy to the mix, we can be overwhelmed. And of course, there is a stigma attached to sexuality in many cultures, which has spilled over into our relationship with ourselves. And whether we freely express or repress our sexuality, we can still experience conflicted emotions. Guilt, shame, disgust, fear, doubt, confusion, greed, longing, compulsion are just some of the emotions that arise in relation to our sexual energy.
Because our collective relationship with sexuality has not yet been expressed as balanced, yet alone refined, joyful or expansive, we are placing the Potential Self in the Power level.
Potential Self - POWER - controlled/regularly
The placement of the Usual Self reflects our continued emotional challenges in this area, particularly how the compelling nature of our sexual energy exacerbates the already turbulent state of human emotions.
Usual Self - SECURITY - addictive/regularly
For the Limited Self, we find that the emotional toll of so much sexual misuse and abuse on the planet has left emotional wounds on many. This is felt individually but it is also discernible collectively. So, like the Mindset indicator, the placement of the limited self for Feelings also sits squarely within the Survival band.
Limited Self - SURVIVAL - exposed/regularly
Form
Let’s start by looking at the relationship between source energy and matter. The design of the human being offers us the potential for abundant energy, and a sense of lightness and harmony. This results quite naturally in effortless wellbeing across our whole energy field, including our physical body. Our sexual energy is part of this design. It is not restricted to a physical act, or even a temporary pleasure. Used consciously, it can be experienced and expressed, without limitation or distortion, across every aspect of our being. The reason we call it a gift is because it was given in order to reconnect us to our source. Otherwise it wouldn’t have been given to us.
If we consider the common effects on our physical state by the thinking and behaviours we’ve explored thus far in the topic of sexuality, we can see that humankind has yet to properly recognise that gift. The physical, emotional and psychological trauma inflicted in the name of sexuality is a damning indictment on the state of human consciousness.
For this reason we place the Potential Self in the Security level.
Potential Self - SECURITY - dependant/regularly
The Usual Self shares the same level.
Usual Self - SECURITY - dependent/constantly
And the Limited Self is in Survival
Limited Self - SURVIVAL - vulnerable/regularly
Experience
Here in the Experience indicator, we sum up the overall felt experience of the journey from Purpose to Form. Even though the plotting of our 3 states of being has dropped down to its lowest points in Mindset, Feelings and Form, there is still hope. Despite the widespread misunderstanding of sexuality on our planet, the promise of the gift still exerts its influence on us. We sense that there is something magical about sexuality that is yet to be discovered. And for that reason we engage with it again and again, subconsciously looking for the higher energies it contains. To really unwrap this precious gift, we need to connect the physical act, and the sexual energy it channels, back to its source. Then we can experience not just physical pleasure, but Divine pleasure - known as bliss.
Potential Self - CONNECTION - contentment/regularly
The Usual Self however, is still in the power level to reflect how so many use and experience sexuality
Usual Self - POWER - stress/regularly
And the Limited Self is in the Security level because of how our sexual energy stirs up so much emotional turmoil.
Limited Self - SECURITY - drama/constantly
Relating
We assume that sexuality is all about relating, and many people use their sexual experience in order to get closer to another. However there is an ancient form of sexual practice that doesn’t necessarily require a partner. In this, the sexual energy is accessed and utilised for the purpose of bringing well-being to the whole energy field, and to evolve conscious awareness. When practised with a partner, it can bring about spiritual union. To truly blend one’s sexual energies requires both partners to be very clear, open and centred - and to be able to handle the tremendous life-force that such a practice awakens.
For the most part humankind equates sexual experience with the lower energy bodies. The quality of relating within that experience is still very limited. All sorts of ego-identity projections and longings are brought into the experience. The result being that we can leave the encounter feeling spent instead of vitalised, cut off instead of united, frustrated instead of blessed.
Potential Self - POWER - competitive/occasionally
Usual Self - SECURITY - needy/regularly
Limited Self - SURVIVAL - guarded/regularly.
This reflects the dominant way that sexual activity is used as a weapon against others.
Identity
Here we assess how identity has shaped our relationship to sexuality. We’ve already outlined how the ego-identity co-opts the life-force within sexual energy to its own agenda. On an individual level, as our identity evolves, our relationship to our sexuality (indeed every aspect of life) changes significantly for the better. On a collective level, we have some way to go before humankind uses this power as intended. As we’ve seen repeatedly through this series, the collective identity of humankind is stubbornly hovering in the lower levels. Until we reconnect to our inherent divinity, we will continue to see human life, and our many latent powers, through a lens of separation, personal pursuit and aggrandisement. When we operate from a place of love, respect and acknowledgement for self, others and life, sexuality and every aspect of life, will be revered as the precious gift it is.
Potential Self - CONNECTION - I belong/occasionally
Usual Self - POWER - I strive/regularly
Limited Self - SECURITY - I need/regularly
Challenge & Responsibility
What challenge does the gift of sexuality offer us? And what do we need to be responsible for in order to overcome that challenge?
We gave this column a lot of consideration. The range of perspectives and experience across humankind as it relates to sexuality is quite wide from those seeking to enter into the experience with conscious recognition, to those who use the sexual act as a weapon. However on reflection, if we look at the whole human population, we regret to report that our relationship to sexuality is still missing the crucial divine ingredient that could begin to heal the legacy of sexual misunderstanding, confusion and brutality.
Therefore we place our final plot in the Security level
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